How to cope with envy in a positive way

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Photo by flickr user baxterclaus

  Envy can have a destructive impact on your life. It can demotivate you, sabotage your relationships and leave you feeling frustrated and angry at the world.


  How can you cope with this emotion?

  Overcoming negative emotions is all about how you react to them. In order to overcome envy, it's necessary to change the way you react to this emotion. Recognize that focusing on the negative feeling will not help. Analyze your envy. There are things to be gained from this negative emotion. 

  What can envy give you?


1.  New goals.

  You may not even know you want something or just how much you want it until you see someone else having it. It can change your perspective on your current life situation and be a much- needed wake-up call to set new goals and change things.

2.  A better understanding of yourself.

  What, who and why you envy lets you know what you want in your life. It helps you realize what's important to you. You wouldn't feel this strongly about someone else having whatever it is you envy if it wasn't a priority for you.

3.  Motivation.

   Envy can provide more energy and drive for you to go after what you want in life.

4.  A role model.

  Seeing someone else with what you are now sure that you want lets you know that it's attainable and gives you someone to learn from.

How to stop feeling envy 

   As you can see, there are positive things to be gained from this feeling. Once you have analyzed your envy and learned from it, it's time to let it go.

  Be grateful to those you envy for helping you learn something about yourself.

  Focus on what you have and what you can do to improve your life. Concentrate on your personal development and goals. Take an active, rather than reactive approach to life. Remind yourself that you can control your life and your situation. A big part of envy comes from the feeling that you have been treated unfairly by life. If you stop thinking about how things should have been or what you should have and instead focus on what you can do and attain by your own actions, you will defeat the feeling of envy.

  Remember that just because this person you envy has something you want doesn't somehow make them superior to you. You are unique, your situation in life is unique. Uncomparable. So don't compare yourself to them and don't see the situation as that person having taken something from you.

  Instead, recognize that life isn't a competition and be happy for them. Feel safe in knowing that you can both find your own unique happiness in life.